Destination Womanhood (posted 9/25/08)

Stone Cold: And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so.

At my almost 24 years... i started the journey into womanhood and I'm handling it pretty well. Despite all the mistakes I've made, i am learning from them and trying HARD not to hate myself for it. I have forgiven myself for many things in the past...minus one. Until i am able to let this go and learn from it...i will not be at peace with myself. I cant help but Re-Play my whole life in my head over and over and say...what if i had made it work with HIM or what if i woulda done that or moved there etc; but the truth is i wouldn't be where i am now if it wasn't for the past events and the order they happened in. I've come a long way...I've been a good girl and a bad one. Ive been naive and (in Pierre's words) sassy. Ive been a loud mouth and Ive been the shy quiet girl. I have been through every stage and i know exactly who i wanna be...

HONEST.

That's it, that's who i wanna be and who i wanna meet.

Brutal Honesty.

If you hate me, love me, tired of me, enjoy me, wanna have sex, think I'm TOO sarcastic, think i have OCD (lol Ang)....or anything....just say it. I cant stress enough how much respect i have for an honest man.

I need to STOP needing what i want and START wanting what i need.

I need to live in today and appreciate the blessings God has given me instead of grieving over who and what i want. I'm going to give closure to all those open files in my head...One by One. Trust me on this one...i know what I'm doing. The only way to truly move on is to get the answers we NEED. I know sometimes you don't always get a clear answer...hence why sometimes we cant move on.

You spend so much time looking at that closed door that you don't even realize another one has opened...

I think i have definitely spent too much time looking at all the closed doors and trying to get a locksmith to open them. My mind needs to De-Fragment therefore making more room for a brighter future. This blog has nothing to do with LOVE and everything to do with LIFE. I cant keep ping-ponging my decisions...one minute I'm sure i wanna stay single, the next I'm wishing i had a date. One day i say i will never have more children, the next I'm sulking over my daughter not having siblings. One minute i wanna be blonde but yet i keep buying Jet Black hair dyes... I think this is all part of becoming a woman...age does not define girls from women, a state of mind is what categorizes us. The journey towards womanhood has many changes. You change what you stand for, your beliefs, the traditions u pass on. You are no longer a carbon copy of everyone else...you become you and i think that's where I'm going....

Destination: Womanhood


Peace, Love and Goose...

'chase no man....the only thing a woman should chase is her vodka, and the man IF he has vodka'

(Enjoy Ang LOL)