Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
Proverbs 3:7-8
So yeah I'm going thru it man. But amazingly I'm staying focused. Crazy but I'm standing. I should be curled up in a ball crying but I'm not. It's not whether u fall, it's how u fall. And I wanna fall in style. LOL. I'm a clown. A lot is going down on this end and not many ppl know but I'm Tryna stay up. I'm going thru some bittersweet moments in life. The moments that shape who u will become. The truths about who's really there for you and who's there for the cameras.
It hurts to know so many ppl will turn their back on you. Regardless of how strong I am, it hurts like HELL. Like alcohol on ur scrape, like bangin ur elbow on the table or ur pinky toe on the edge of furniture, like hitting your forehead on the corner of the cabinet or smashing ur finger on the door. If any or ALL of these have happened to you, u know exactly what I'm talking about. You don't wanna curse but it hurts so bad ur like FU*K while clenching ur fists and biting down on ur lip. Inside I'm dying bcuz I don't see a way out, no fuckin light at the end of my tunnel. And though I try to find peace in the bible and inspiration through God I am not completely happy.
I'm pouring out my heart here and no one is listening. I don't wanna be loved, I wanna be respected. There's no love without respect anyway. I don't wanna be liked, I wanna be embraced. Don't tell me I'm pretty, that's superficial. Tell me I'm beautiful. Tell me u appreciate my kindness, not that I'm nice. Anyone can be nice but not everyone is genuine. I don't need lies, give me truth even if it kills me. The truth always prevails and it hurts more to hear it from other ppls mouths than from the source. I want to be ME whoever I decide to be and be adored for it. I can't change for anyone but myself and I like me just fine. Acknowledge my strength and my determination but value my sense of humor and sarcasm. Be who u are bcuz I will be me no matter what.
Pain is temporary and nothing is forever not even Love. I've learned that no one ever tells you exactly what they are thinking because not everyone can be brutally honest. I KNOW that only cowards walk away and live life afraid of making moves. I'm tired of watching my step for fear of falling. I wanna fall not One but a thousand times If I have to, if this is what's gonna make me stronger. I wanna live for NOW, for TODAY. Not for a tomorrow that we're not even certain of. Starting today I'm going to live for today. You can live with me in our today or live without me in your tomorrow. I want to lose myself in every hug, every smile, every word. I want to let go and be drunk with positivity and high off of love. My words are real though my poetry may be twisted. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. When all this smoke clears I can promise you I'll be a better woman because I've been through much more this past month than I've been thru my whole life. I've also made great friendships that will probably last forever. I've broken many bonds without consent. I'm not perfect but I am me. And for the first time I'm opening my heart to this screen with a blinking cursor. Not even to a human with a heart that pumps blood like mine but to a man made machine. ( go figure)
I'm pouring out my heart here and no one is listening. I don't wanna be loved, I wanna be respected. There's no love without respect anyway. I don't wanna be liked, I wanna be embraced. Don't tell me I'm pretty, that's superficial. Tell me I'm beautiful. Tell me u appreciate my kindness, not that I'm nice. Anyone can be nice but not everyone is genuine. I don't need lies, give me truth even if it kills me. The truth always prevails and it hurts more to hear it from other ppls mouths than from the source. I want to be ME whoever I decide to be and be adored for it. I can't change for anyone but myself and I like me just fine. Acknowledge my strength and my determination but value my sense of humor and sarcasm. Be who u are bcuz I will be me no matter what.
Pain is temporary and nothing is forever not even Love. I've learned that no one ever tells you exactly what they are thinking because not everyone can be brutally honest. I KNOW that only cowards walk away and live life afraid of making moves. I'm tired of watching my step for fear of falling. I wanna fall not One but a thousand times If I have to, if this is what's gonna make me stronger. I wanna live for NOW, for TODAY. Not for a tomorrow that we're not even certain of. Starting today I'm going to live for today. You can live with me in our today or live without me in your tomorrow. I want to lose myself in every hug, every smile, every word. I want to let go and be drunk with positivity and high off of love. My words are real though my poetry may be twisted. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. When all this smoke clears I can promise you I'll be a better woman because I've been through much more this past month than I've been thru my whole life. I've also made great friendships that will probably last forever. I've broken many bonds without consent. I'm not perfect but I am me. And for the first time I'm opening my heart to this screen with a blinking cursor. Not even to a human with a heart that pumps blood like mine but to a man made machine. ( go figure)
My mother always says that I hold so much inside and that my small body wont be able to hold so much emotion, she also says I've never truly been happy... U know what I have to say about THAT? "Mommy ur right". So for once I'm letting go, don't judge me for typing my emotions away love me for letting you in my heart. Yeah YOU, whoever you are out there. I wanna leave you with a thought: " just cuz u love someone, it doesn't mean u have to b with them, it's better to have loved than not loved at all" so just take in the moment.
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